Have you ever asked yourself the following:

• Why is my child such a sissy?
• Why can't my child act more normal?
• How can I keep my child from being such a wimp?
• Will my child be gay?

If you answered yes to any of the above, we may have a solution for you!

Bullies for Hire is here to provide you with fierce, quality bullying. Studies have shown that a constant barrage of intense bullying can make any kid "toughen up" and become more aggressive.

We offer many different bullying plans to fit your budget. The best part is, it's tax deductible!

We will assign a personal bully to shadow your child day after day.

Our Bullies are trained by experts and are proficient in all forms of bullying.

Forcing your boy to sing like a "little girl" will increase his hardiness and build character.

The Deluxe Package allows your child to be bullied by a group of children on the weekends.

Extra Curricular Bullies

Every parent has dreams for their child...

• NBA Star
• Pro-Golfer
• Ballerina
• Writer
• Cheerleader

We can help your child achieve your goals! With the help of carefully chosen local schoolchildren, we can bully your child out of an undesirable after school activity. Add to this the timely advice from Mom and Dad, your child will be on their way to stardom!
...

Want your child to be athletic?
Ivan will ridicule your child until they hate chess!

Wish your kid was brainier?
Lil' Bruno will ensure your child is terrified of sports!

Looks like little William won't be joining Theater after all!
Whew!

After only a few years of constant bullying, Rachel is the shyest but also the smartest kid in school! Hello Yale!